Transitory connections, a late night one-liner prayer for tired mums, Christmas at Home
Greetings from Singapore!
Transitory connections
“I find it easier and more fun to find out something about someone new than to talk about myself. This process creates a connection, even if it is transitory. And these connections seem to be pretty fundamental to being a human.”
-via LinkedIn
As I read this we were in Phuket, Thailand, and making these connections daily—short, transitory, yet meaningful in their own way. One such encounter that moved me was with a man selling corn on Nai Yang Beach, close to where we were staying.
I wondered how many miles he had walked in high heat, clad in his dark attire and carrying corn cobs and cooking apparatus … selling corn for 60 baht each.
People say eyes are the windows to the soul, and his eyes were all we could see, and this man had a beautiful soul.
His hands were dark, weather-beaten, hardworking. I looked across at my children’s hands; supple and smooth.
It was impossible not to think: he has a hard life, we have it easy. But later I also thought: he has an inner fountain of joy and an appreciation of simplicity, and many of us in the West do not.
When he gave us our corn, perfectly cooked, it was a gift.
“Everything is always changing. Life is a kaleidoscope that gives way to new experiences, but only when you keep turning it. Hold on to anything for too long, and it disappears.”
- Jeff Goins
Hello, Life.
There is a part of me which struggles with the notion that “once upon a time I had a functioning brain”. So much has happened in the last few years that any time life throws a curveball, which it inadvertently does, I feel this sense of paralysis and futility.
Our first overseas trip with young kids has brought about all sorts of surprises, some good and some not so. And on top of these, daily interrupted sleep!
When the latest challenge hit I wondered aloud if my husband regretted taking the trip. He looked surprised as he said, “No! It’s just another leg of the trip, we’ll deal with this together.”
Acceptance and pragmatism. A good attitude for managing Present Day Life.
A late night one-liner prayer for tired mums
There is nothing fun about living through those dire moments where you are praying wordlessly, in a place of desperation and resignation. Perhaps you know what I mean.
After our trip to Phuket my baby was inconsolable for a day and shortly afterwards her skin erupted with what I later learned was impetigo. It looked like a sea monster had attacked her. All her beautiful skin was covered in splashes of boils and blisters.
Crying while I applied the cream on her, my own body succumbing to fever and my own set of germs, she woke up screaming one night and I was so exhausted I could hardly think out a prayer. What finally emerged was “Carry me so I can carry her.” Spiritually I felt transported instantly to Jesus’s arms … and I am thinking … that’s where tired mothers should hang out more.
What late-night prayers have you prayed lately? I hope you were met with what you needed to carry on.
Christmas at Home
As an adult, “Home is where the heart is” but as a child, home is where you grow up.
When you grow up between cities and countries, “home” becomes elusive and eclectic. A kaleidoscope of sights, smells, specific objects in the home ... and, as time passes, you learn to inhabit and transition through your various worlds, both inner and outer, through food, language, connections in different countries, etc.
But bring in Covid and motherhood, a perfect storm, I think, oh and my grandfather passing away last year ... and I wanted nothing more than to get on a plane and get to my Singapore home where I have not been able to visit for three years.
Grandpa met my weeks-old baby briefly on Video chat. Despite dementia setting in I have no doubt he recognised me and knew who he was meeting. Then, less than 48 hours later, he was gone.
Because he had lived to 95, then 96, 97, 98, 99, 100 ... I think I started to believe in some way that he would be there when the borders reopened and we could visit with all three kids.
My baby was in NICU on oxygen support while a lamp that had been lit in my world for as long as I can remember, was extinguished.
And this is why I am deeply deeply grateful to be here in Singapore now in December even though he is gone and we are sick and currently mainly isolating in our hotel premises. Four days to go before Christmas, knowing that God holds all in his hands.
Just praying that God will be with us this Christmas, and with you.
Thank you for being here and I wish you and your family a blessed Christmas where you are able to physically be with the people you love! (Below: a picture of our gingerbread man decorating session a few weeks ago).
Mel