This is also progress | Happy new year!
Art © To You From Steph
Dear friends,
I was sooo looking forward to an early night this New Year's Eve but as it turns out, I was glad not to miss the fireworks from our bedroom window after all. It's a little like how I was fretting about our December calendar, but as December unfurled—Christmas festivities, catch-ups with much missed friends and family—I was glad after all. So often when we are tired we don't feel like doing much, or being social. But sometimes in these moments it pays to plan stuff, invite people over and accept invitations to others' homes anyway. Contribute silly jokes and cookies and a roast chicken or two. Gratefully receive the gifts of others' company and love, even in the space of your own messy living room. Cos it's these moments of simply being together—giving, receiving—that we come to cherish.
This year had many hard moments, for me, for our family, and for many I know. I read a few posts on social media tonight, talking about how much they wanted to kick 2022 to the curb and just forget all its troubles. I get it. In some respects I feel like I haven't accomplished anything at all. Just blitzed or crawled through the days and woken up to do the laundry. I have set intentions to do things then felt stupid for doing so when it felt futile. I felt embarrassed in recent conversation with acquaintances, about still being at home with my kids four years after going on maternity leave (they probably didn't even judge me negatively about it, but I projected this on to them!).
For some of us, looking at our LinkedIn feeds or being asked certain closed questions at get-togethers brings about a sense of discouragement. Our minds go blank when we're asked what we've been up to. Uhh, battling infertility, struggling with parenting, supporting a spouse through illness, trying to get out of the house with an anxious mind, paying bills while trying to change jobs, for example, may be intense and all-consuming to us—yet when questioned all that comes out is "not much, you?" We can feel like we should be doing or achieving 'more' with our time. We can easily dismiss what we are doing or suffering through.
My friend, if this is you, God sees you climbing and slipping down mountains in the dark. Maybe you don't see it now but through the difficult terrain and dark times you've faced this year you've grown muscles and gained wisdom and strength. This is also progress.
Maybe you don't know how you'll keep going, but reaching the end of yourself can be a good thing. It can be the start of a new way to be and live.
Your harvest may not look like the success of others you admire, but it will come if you persevere ... a hard word to hang on to in difficult times but a word that comes to mind for me now as I look ahead to a new year.
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." - Galatians 6:9
I wish you and your family beauty and hope and your version of success in the new year.
Mel