Spontaneous poem, what we can offer, travelling mercies
Spontaneous poem
A place in this wild world
Not necessarily feeling a sense of
Belonging
But knowing that yes, I belong
Here —
With all the humans around me
Including, especially, those that I do not
Recognize or understand.
Together we muddle through.
Penny for your thoughts …
Aside from giving my itchy fingers and jumpy mind a creative outlet, this new newsletter exists for you!
I am a ‘words’ person, if you are reading this perhaps you are too?—and it is so important for us to continue to use the medium of words to connect and inspire each other.
I am currently working out how best to style and format this newsletter. At this point I am thinking somewhere between letter (the kind you may get from a friend who still likes old-fashioned pen and paper), and blog (to move with the times and all. Though some may argue that even blogs are old-fashioned now). I welcome your thoughts … let me know in the comments!
What can we offer to an aching world?
(That will make it better).
I thought this recently, and it became an even more relevant thought after the storm that descended on Auckland recently.
It can feel like there’s not a lot we can do as individuals. Until we realise that we don’t need a platform to effect change. Now, more than ever, we need to remember to just start being present and loving the people right in front of us … in any given time.
A recent memory … a few months ago I burst through the auto-doors at hospital, rushing to get to my baby who was warded in the Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU). Looking at the time on my phone I had just enough time to get the compulsory RAT test done and make it to her in time for her scheduled feed time.
I met a hospital staff member at the door. By this time I’d met so many that I couldn’t be sure if I’d met her before. She asked after my baby and smiled. And somehow, though part of my brain said “there’s no time to chat!” something else said to stay. And I learned that she had lost her own precious baby boy not long after he was born.
In that moment I felt like my heart could stop beating if that happened to me. Something broke inside me as I looked into her eyes, a part of me that realised that life is ‘unfair’ … and that this woman didn’t deserve her loss. And that, in a perfect world, the boy would have grown up into who he was meant to be, and be off having adventures. I felt, in that moment, her devastation. Time seemed to stop … and then we both remembered our respective duties …
Her face changed, it became brave again. She said it was over 20 years ago, and they still visited his grave every year. Not the husband; he was long gone. I wondered how many people had said to her “I’m sorry”. I almost did, because that’s the line that came to mind. Instead, I said, “You never forget, do you.” She looked up, tender, determined. “No, you don’t.” “Good luck with your baby,” she said sincerely.
We can’t take away someone else’s pain and grief. And we can’t necessarily carry it either. But whether it is for five minutes or five years—depending on the nature of the relationship—we can share it with an open heart.
Travelling mercies
These days, with the effects of climate change, COVID and other factors, we have all the more reason to be grateful for travelling mercies.
Recently I went on a little trip with my baby down to the south island of New Zealand. A friend (#1) stayed over and took us to the airport at 5:15am. Our first flight didn’t land due to fog, and we circled back to Auckland! Fortunately we got on another flight a couple of hours later—and friend #2 picked us up at the airport. She was going to drop us off at the bus stop for our next destination, but then she decided to lend us her car for a few days!
We arrived safely … only I unfortunately left the car lights on for a few hours before a kindly neighbour of friend #3 came to let us know. I stumbled out in my nightgown, disoriented and exhausted; she came after me with a jumper for my shoulders.
The next day a AA mechanic came and another kindly neighbour lent us his car battery charger! We started the car and charged the battery up. Meanwhile … a storm raged in Auckland while we went to the beach in Timaru …
and hung out in some lovely spots—even the bathrooms were beautiful! (Mia Flora in Geraldine)
Friend #3 looked after us … and her mum lent us her car, cooked for us one night and brought takeaways on another!
A few nights later I drove the car back to friend #2. Hung out with her and her toddler and stayed the night. Friend #4 picked us up the next day, cooked me lunch and dropped me off at the airport.
Friends and strangers looked after us in every way. At one cafe a man and his wife beamed at us. When I smiled back he said “just admiring!”, gesturing to the baby. On the plane ride home I met lovely people in my row who I chatted with all the way and the man helped me with my bag when we landed.
My husband and other two kids came to pick us up. I was grateful for my husband who’d suggested the trip in the first place and held the fort at home so I could go. The airport looked very much ‘business as usual’ in the domestic terminal. It was a surreal few days, not without their challenges … but wow, so blessed with travelling mercies. Truly it takes a village not just to raise a child, but to support grown adults. At the end of the day, knowing we are loved, and having people to love, enables us to carry on despite all the bad stuff that happens.
Thought of the day
The unparalleled power of literature, after all, lies in its capacity to place us directly within the mind of another.
– Allie Esiri
Verse of the day
For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part, but then shall I know even as also I am known.
– 1 Corinthians 13:12 KJV